Thoughts from a 20 Something

So I’ve  been thinking a lot lately about relationships. What makes them last? What breaks them? How many of my ideal qualities will my future s/o’s meet? Which qualities am I willing to part with for a chance at true love?

These are just a few of the questions that run through my life as I think of my future romances. I don’t claim to know any magical answer, but there is one thing I do know: love never ends and neither should your propensity to show/express it. Just because you feel secure in a relationship does not mean that you’re done wooing your s/o. People need to be reminded of how much they are loved and appreciated. Even the smallest acts suffice. A sincere compliment, a fresh bouquet of flowers or a task as small as putting the dishes away can help brighten someone’s day. 

Since I grew up with strong married couples around me, I never used to worry about things like divorce and infidelity. Those weren’t factors that had ever affected me. Now that I’m older and I am transitioning out of the umbrella of my security provided by my parents and creating my own world, I realize that I am no longer sheltered from these types of tragedies (not that every divorce is tragic).

My last relationship ended in heartbreak as I experienced the stab of infidelity and the loss of my first true love. Although I had dated other men (some more seriously than others) I was sure this was the man I was meant to be with. 

From all of this I have learned more about myself. I am stronger than I ever knew and I am now learning to take care of myself without the help of any man (except my Dad :) ). Still, I question my next romantic adventure, but I think it’s good to question. If we don’t question what we value, we may miss out on a great opportunity. 

Everyone has people in their life who they just can’t stand to be around. Some people are great at dealing with these pesky peers. Others, like myself, just can’t deal.

Obviously we all have to learn to cope with people who we just don’t like, but we shouldn’t have to sacrifice our sanity for some annoying co-worker or classmate. So how much is too much to deal with? When is it ok to say something and when do you keep your mouth shut?

I’m learning to deal with these issues along with everyone else and I wish I had an answer. I think it’s important to voice your opinions if doing so could really make a difference. However, complaining in vain is useless and just strains the relationship further. Overall, I think that maintaining your own mental health and happiness is more important than we realize in our culture. We, as Americans, value hard work and dedication over all. But what does any of that matter if you’re miserable. Personally, I’d rather make choices that make me happy in the long run. Even if that means sacrificing something good (like a job) to avoid that pesky person who just tears you down.

DISCLAIMER: This post is not about my political views and I will try to keep those views from skewing my opinion here.

This morning, I was watching the Today Show while I ate breakfast. Apparently Michelle Obama is now being criticized for participating in the Oscars. People are complaining that she didn’t belong there; that it wasn’t “her place.” The thing is, she isn’t the first member of the White House to appear at the Academy Awards.

http://www.buzzfeed.com/cjlotz/michelle-obama-is-not-the-first-white-house-resident-to-appe

Why in the world is she criticized for every choice she makes? First she was denounced for wearing a dress that showed off her arms, now people are analyzing her new bangs. When asked about this she replied “It’s a haircut. I’m sorry”  (as seen on the Today Show). 

I don’t find any of these dresses offensive:

Policy aside, the FLOTUS has every right to get a haircut or wear a dress that shows off something as modest as her arms, which she works her ass of to keep so toned. The moment she wears a dress with a deep plunge or gets a breast enhancement or does something radically inappropriate, I will understand the complaints. Right now, however, I think people need to set their political opinions aside for a moment and realize that they are picking on her for absolutely no valid reason.

Ok, so I know this is a topic that has been beaten down and discussed in every possible forum, but I’m going to cover it anyhow so if you don’t want to read it then don’t. I don’t care either way.

I was trying to think of my next blog topic while driving home and listening to Taylor Swift’s album, Red. I thought of my Anne Hathaway haters post and didn’t want to write the same thing about Taylor Swift bc she’s discussed far too often. Then I thought of a BuzzFeed article I read about people hating on Jessica Chastain for no reason

[http://www.buzzfeed.com/erinlarosa/why-are-the-oscars-ignoring-the-great-jessica-chastain]

and wanted to write about that, but, again, I didn’t want to write another post about people hating on some famous female. THEN I thought about George Clooney at the Oscars with Stacy Keibler and I found my topic.

First, let me just lay out the facts (in no particular order):

Taylor Swift: Age 23

   Famous Beaus:

     Taylor Lautner: Age 21 (difference of 2 years)

     Harry Styles: Age 19 (difference of 4 years)

     Joe Jonas: Age 23 (difference of a few months)

     John Mayer: Age 35 (difference of 12 years - she later wrote the song
     Dear John about how she was too young for that relationship)

     Jake Gyllenhaal: Age 32 (difference of 9 years)

George Clooney: Age 51

   Recent Famous Dates:

     Stacy Keibler: Age 33 (difference of 18 years - he was a legal adult              
     when she was born)

     Lisa Snowdon: Age 42 (difference of 9 years)

     Elisabetta Canalis: Age 34 (difference of 17 years)

     Monika Jakisic: Age 33 (difference of 18 years)

My question, to you, is one that has been asked a million times. Why does T Swift get all this flak for serial dating “younger men” when the youngest guy she’s dated was only 4 years younger than her? How come no one yelled at Jake Gyllenhaal for dating her when the age gap was 9 years? Why is Clooney applauded for dating women who are 18 years younger than him by the same people who ridicule Swift?

Let me put out there that I am a Taylor Swift fan. I also realize that she has dated A LOT of men (by most standards) over the years. However, that is her prerogative. I’m a fan of Clooney and Gyllenhaal as well and think they should be free to date whomever they please as well. I’m not criticizing anyone’s dating choices. Rather I’m criticizing the public’s need to analyze every relationship in the public eye to the point of tearing happy couples apart. 

Another, totally different example, is the relationship between Rhianna and Chris Brown. Obviously I do not condone domestic violence (or violence of most any kind, for that matter). However, unless you actually know the couple, it’s none of your business whether they are back together or planning to get married or whatever. I understand that Rhianna is in the public eye and, therefore, serves as a role model for her fans. BUT, she’s also human and she has to follow her heart. She will make mistakes, but it’s not the general public’s responsibility to ridicule her love life. 

I guess that last part didn’t have any connection to the double standards presented in the dating world, but I didn’t think I could rant enough about that topic to make a whole new post. 

Overall, I just think the public needs to butt out. Celebrities are people just like you and me and they need to make choices without having everyone and their mother criticize their every move. I know this little rant won’t make any difference, but maybe if people stopped buying tabloids so often and stopped tuning into the gossip news programs (I know they’re addictive - trust me), then maybe this whole issue would die down a bit.

I used to think Anne Hathaway was charming. I always identified her as Mia from The Princess Diaries and she was great in that (as great as someone could be in that role).  I thought she was phenomenal in more serious roles such as in Love and Other Drugs and Rachel Getting Married. (I like those movies better anyhow and I think they take more acting ability. However, there is something to be said for comedic roles because there is a fine line between being cheesy and over-the-top and being just perfectly light and comedic.)

BUT lately it seems like America (aka the internet) is totally hating on her and somehow I’ve gotten dragged into that group of haters and I am not even sure why I’m hating! 

http://www.buzzfeed.com/erinlarosa/11-things-anne-hathaway-is-telling-a-mirror-right-now

I haven’t seen Les Miserables yet, but I heard she was phenomenal. She still seems cute and real-ish (in Hollywood standards). So why are we hating? 

The Answer: I don’t know. For some unidentified reason some of her more recent speeches have just rubbed me the wrong way. The words that come out of her mouth somehow don’t match her semi-pretentious tone.

Her acceptance speech was fine, I thought. Typical, but fine and I thought the part where she thanked her husband was very heart-felt. However, some (not all) of her backstage speech (link below) didn’t seem very real to me.

All-in-all I still like her. I think that being “real” in Hollywood is incredibly difficult. Not everyone can pull of J Law’s quirky, down-to-earth way of answering press questions. Many people would just seem rude, cocky, and mean if they tried to answer the way Lawrence does. I think Hathaway is probably doing the best she can as she constantly tries to navigate her fame and I think her role in Les Miserables probably changed her life (she addresses this in the link below). And, you know what, it doesn’t matter in the slightest if people like her. She has proven herself as a great actress in a variety of roles and genres. So overall, who cares.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qms91tgVUYU

Thanks to YouTube for allowing me to watch the rest of the Oscars that I missed on Sunday.

Adele is amazing.

I loved almost all of the live performances, but so far she is topping my list.

Also, Jennifer Lawrence backstage is just the bomb.com

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CLKZb1wLmAY

However, I thought she deserved an Oscar more for Winter’s Bone than for Silver Linings Playbook. There was/is so much hype for this film (SLP) for addressing mental illness, but I didn’t find it any more influential than other films in the past. One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, Little Miss Sunshine and, one of my personal favorites, Sybil, come to mind. 

I thought that Quvenzhane Wallis was absolutely phenomenal in Beasts of the Southern Wild and would have loved for her to win the Oscar.

However, I’ve heard that much of the debate over her winning is because she was so young that it took so many takes for her to get it right, whereas Jennifer Lawrence nailed it pretty quickly. However, anyone who knows about Julia Robert’s stint on Broadway knows that she is not a great actress on the first take and she has an Oscar (although it did take until her 3rd nomination for her to win). I’m just not sure that the whole how many takes issue is really worthy of costing someone an Oscar since it seems like the award is for their final performance.

All of that being said, I still haven’t even seen all of this/last years big hits. 

Seen (nominated for Best Picture):

Silver Linings Playbook

Django Unchained

Beasts of the Southern Wild

Still to See (nominated for Best Picture):

Argo

Zero Dark Thirty

Life of Pi (after I read the book)

Les Miserables

Lincoln

Amour